Mental health is something I’ve always been interested in, but have recently become passionate about.
The thing about mental health is that there is still stigma surrounding mental illness. Fortunately, over the past several years this stigma is easing, but it still is prevalent enough to stand as a barrier to some who truly need professional help.
The unfortunate part about mental health is that is often hidden so well. Many of us in society have learned to manage some of our symptoms in order to appear to be functioning adults. We throw a Bandaid on it by masking or shoving the effects of the illness way down and far away from the surface. Then we keep them there, never again to be acknowledged and released until it bubbles to the top. As a result, many of the treatable symptoms continue to remain untreated, and this can create a snowball effect into a mental health crisis.
My passion for this topic comes from my own mental health crisis. I’ve always known that I’m pretty resilient, but after I lost my husband to cancer nearly a decade ago that resilience temporarily turned into a feigned strength, and my grieving became ineffective, delayed, and extremely complicated. I went from a “normal,” happy adult to someone who eventually completely broke down. This was further complicated by another traumatic experience about 8 years after his death and I spiraled into a severe depression with severe anxiety and PTSD.
Although I’ve worked in psychiatry for much of my nursing career, I didn’t truly understand what it was like to feel like you have no control and to have depression so bad that all you can do is the very basics to simply survive. For YEARS, I simply survived. But much of the time I didn’t even feel like I wanted to do that anymore.
I spent ALL of the energy that I had making sure that I was still able to care for myself and my kids, and did little else beyond that. My house was always dark. My joy was gone. I felt like I was nothing but a burden to my kids and that they would be better off without me. I had reached that level of crisis.
Eventually, I found the strength to seek the help that I needed. I had a few trusted people that gave me the support that I needed to stand when I felt too weak to crawl. I had to take an extended leave from work because I knew that if I didn’t focus all of my energy on getting better, I would become hospitalized which would take me away from work anyway, but would also take me away from my support system. Somehow I had the insight to know that I couldn’t do this on my own (heaven knows I tried!) and I needed professional assistance.
With the help of medications (including a few medication adjustments) and therapy, and an extended break from stresses I knew I couldn’t handle at the time, I am now closer to myself than I have been in many years. My resilience is back and my passion is renewed. I feel it is my calling to help others who have experienced the chains of depression or other mental illness to feel empowered to seek the help they need.
I share my story not for pity or attention, but to encourage those who are struggling too. There are ways out of the darkness. I’m still on my journey and I fight symptoms of depression every. Single. Day. But now I have the resources I need to manage the debilitating symptoms I have experienced over the years. And these resources are available to you too.
If you or someone you know has symptoms of depression or other mental illness, please know that help is out there. It is not shameful to seek help in the form of medications or therapy. There are many treatments out there that can help you find your life again.
If you are experiencing this, please know that you are not alone. You are not broken. You have a place here. Don’t be afraid or feel ashamed to get the help you need. You have more resources at your fingertips than you know. Please reach out to someone.
You belong.
This information is purely informational and educational. This is not intended to act as medical advice. Please consult your medical and/or mental health professionals pertaining to any medical advice.
If you or someone you know is in an emergency, call The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-TALK (8255) or call 911 immediately.
For more information regarding warning signs and suicide risk, please visit https://www.nami.org/About-Mental-Illness/Common-with-Mental-Illness/Risk-of-Suicide for additional information and guidance.
